So many of us who have experienced loss say, “If I wouldn't have done this,  I wouldn’t have lost my loved one”, or “If I just would have known what I know now, this wouldn’t have happened”, or “If I would have just told them……”

Guilt is one of the hardest emotions to work through, and so many times we have some form of it associated with our loss. I too, look back and think of what I could have done differently. Maybe if I would have intervened earlier, we wouldn’t have this life changing loss to affect us for the rest of our lifetime. So many "if's"……

We have to understand there is free will and circumstances beyond our control. This is the one of the hardest things to accept. We always want control but must realize everyone has choices that they have to make for themselves. All we can do is just love and carry on. 

I believe we all do the best we can at the time with the circumstances and knowledge we are given. We move forward with these decisions. We can drive ourselves crazy reflecting back to the decisions of the past. Don’t get me wrong-reflection has it’s benefits. We grow and learn through previous actions, but still it IS the past. We must acknowledge it, find peace with it, and then continue to move forward to the future.

Think about the future. Think about your dreams and aspirations. Start taking steps toward those dreams. Our loss experiences make us stronger even though we still feel weak at times. Our losses change us forever. I like to think of them as positive transformations. They humble us. They put the important things in life back in perspective, but we can still dream with our new reality. 

Let go of your guilt,- your could have’s, should have’s, and would have’s. Know you did the best you could at the time. Know it was enough. It was perfect at the time. Today is a new day and a new perspective. 

To the future,

Vickie